It’s hard to believe, but today will mark one year since I moved to Orlando, and now it’s been just shy of a month living in Orlando after my DCP. To say it’s been an adjustment is an understatement. I have a new job that is sort of with Disney (an operating participant that comes with some of the regular cast member benefits), living in a real apartment, and I just had to replace all four tires on my car that were shredding themselves. Everything, as it usually does in my life, has been hitting me all at once. And it has been a hard adjustment.
Up until now, I have been in a funk. It has been weird seeing two of my roommates go off to work in the place I used to work and I’m not there. I didn’t really get a chance to say goodbye to the rest of the CPs because I started my job immediately and was working the night of their last night. Money has been very tight so I felt guilty if I went to one of the parks because I was scared to spend money and use too much gas. All of those things may sound silly to you, and I admit they do now, but that’s how I was feeling.
At first, I really didn’t like my new job. I haven’t had a new job in over two years, so the nerves of meeting new people and learning new things was almost a foreign concept to me. Not being good at a task really frustrated me, and not knowing the answers to guests’ questions threw me for a loop and increased my anxiety that I had just gotten control of. I would come home from work and shut my door for the rest of the night and just feel ashamed. “Was I ever going to get it?” I would think. “Does everyone think I’m stupid? Why couldn’t I just get to stay at Disney like I planned on?” All these thoughts would constantly run through my head every night, causing my sleep schedule to be almost nonexistent and lead to me sleeping until 1 pm everyday I didn’t work a morning shift. And I hated that. No matter how I hard I tried to wake at a normal time, I would immediately hit the snooze and roll back over to sleep, and eventually it would be 1 pm and the day would be pretty much over.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I’m sure I’m not the only one who haas felt at least one of these emotions when they begin a new chapter in their lives. Also, I am proud to say that I have overcome all these feelings. I am beginning to feel happy again about being where I am. Is everything ideal? No, but it almost is. I am still searching for jobs in my field of study, but I’m proud to call Orlando home for what seems to be another year.
Speaking of home, I have some exciting news to share if you’ve made it all the way to the end of this post. For the first time in five (?) years, I will be visiting my home in Massachusetts. It’s hard to believe it’s actually happening, and I have no idea what to expect or how I’ll feel, but my mom and I are flying up for my grandmother’s birthday and to catch up with some family and friends. That’ll be an adventure for sure.
As always, thank you for your support and love. Being out of the funk means probably more blog posts. I am also today launching my new Facebook page, so click on the link at the top of the page to go give it a like!